03/15/10

The News as it happens - brought to you exclusively by the "Six Pack News" team.

• 20th November 2001

Wookie wins in hairy man competition
Warning to all the judges.  It is thought that this is a photo of the competitor otherwise know as the Wookie, celebrating his win in another competition.  There are rumors that he is toying with the idea of waxing for the big day.  Should he bother or do the ladies of the jury like the beast look?

Wookie

• 13th November 2001

Reggie Breaking the Rules???
An anonymous source supplied this inflammatory email to Six-Pack News allegedly sent from six-pack competitor Richard Dixon-Clarke - is he suggesting that he is not keeping up is usual booze intake due to the pressures of the competition contravening Rule 4?  Six Pack News will let you, the reader, decide:

From: Richard.Dixon-Clarke@INTEROUTE.COM
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2001 4:36 PM
To: XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Subject: RE: Xmas Cocktail Party

Should definitely make it. Especially as I have been to one before. And I
will be able to drink what ever I want as this damn six pack thing will be
over.

Richard Dixon-Clarke

Bid Manager
Interoute Telecommunications

• 2nd November 2001

Royal Oak Ski-Show Party Exposes profusion of 'Packs'
A rare night out (!) for some six-packers provided the opportunity to display progress so far.  results are displayed here:

Not looking very promising is it?!

Personal Trainer causes fellow Contenders to cry "foul !"
Inside information revealed secretly to Six-Pack News uncovers un-competitive practices, according to other contenders.  Stories are leaking out that Mat has been receiving the attentions of a Personal Trainer called Paul.  This has raised the hackles of some other contenders who claim that this "is not in the spirit of the rules" - a confabulation of the judges decided that the rules did not preclude this activity and the contender remains in the contest.  It is yet to be seem whether the end justifies the cost...

• 18th October 2001

Contender visits Gym three times in one day
Yes !  This is the shock news from the Stoffel camp, Six-Pack news is reliably informed that it was definitely Gym and not Jim !  Further news hot from the lips of another contestant (who would not be named) claimed that "we went on holiday, and while we were eating and drinking all Dom did was to work on his Abs".  Is a cheval-noir galloping up the rails?

Odds-on favourite may not make the final !
Odds-on favourite Barton Rhodes is now doubtful to make the final at the Royal Oak on Saturday December 1st.  Commitments unknown to Six-pack news are keeping the star contender away from the final.  Unfortunately for those of our readers who have put money on the favourite, the rules state that "if you are not present at the final, you cannot win", please visit your bookmaker for refunds.

• 2nd October 2001

Can too much exercise damage your mind?
Photographic evidence suggests that the current weight loss favourite Reggie DC's exhaustive routines maybe be having an adverse effect on his mind (and certainly his clothing choice) - Reggie - are you really wearing a dress underneath your cycling gear??  Judge for yourselves:

Reggies cycling in a dress

• 1st October 2001

Weigh-in Updates
Odds in the most weight loss categories have improved dramatically for Reggie as he claims to have lost 1 stone in the first 2 weeks of the competition - odds have been slashed to 2-1 making Reggie the joint favourite for the category with heavy weight contender Gobby.

Odds on Mat have slip after the excessive holiday eating and lying in the sun, resulted in a three pound gain in weight in just 5 days !  This has resulted in Mat losing the 'joint favourite' position with odds slipping to 3-1 for the title.  The image below aptly illustrates the situation (and also shows the advanced efforts Alex, in the foreground of the picture, has made - compare to the state of his opening belly on the contenders page - a possible dark horse ?!)

Mat and Alex belly update

Final contenders take the plunge
Yes, the day has dawned - entries closed at midnight last night.  The final contender signed up with just moments to spare.  The final field consists on twelve stallions and one filly in the starting blocks - yes, the competition organisers (after carefully reading the small print in the rules) decided that there are no barriers to race, creed, colour or sex when striving for "the best six pack" and Miss Buffy's request for entry was approved !  Good luck to her, and if you want to know the secret to her (possible) success have a read of the Thin Links page where, every week, Buffy will be writing a interesting and informative article about how to lose weight and to get a six-pack - will it help you ?  We'll have to wait until the first of December to find that out!

• 26 September 2001

Finals Night Venue.
Venue chosen for December 1st “Judgement Day”. Mitchell Miller is delighted to open the doors of the Royal Oak to the competitors, judges and spectator for this momentous occasion. When ask if he would compete he declined gracefully, saying he will be concentrating his efforts on making this Hawaiian theme night one to remember.

More Controversy !
This latest weigh in took place on the 15th September in the thick of the action at the 30th Birthday celebrations of the 3-1 shot Roddy. As the beers where flowing six pack fever took hold and the ladies were not only putting themselves forward as judges, but Alice “Buffy the Wookie Wacker” Bufton demanded to fill the final place in the competitors paddock. But will a lady be allowed to compete? The controversy rages on.

New contender steps up to the challenge.
James Burstow better know as Jeab makes a late entry into what is fast becoming the biggest event of the year. This gentle giant is only 4 lbs. lighter than the competition heavy weight Robin Johnson, but his extra six inches means he carries it far better. Jeab and Gobby have been close before, in fact they used to make beautiful music together, in the brass section of an orchestra. Gobby’s tromboning passed came as a shock to all.

• 09 September 2001

Robin Johnson - Over 15st !
The Second weigh-in on Saturday 8th September produced an incredible result - Robin Johnson tops the scales at a staggering 15st 01lbs !  Surely this gives him a great opportunity in the most weight loss stakes !

Gobby weighing-in

Johnson Raised to 200-1
After the shock weigh-in result (above) bookie raised Johnson's odds for the main prize - the best six-pack - from 40 to 200-1.

Horan "Not Happy"
Alexander Horan, Silver medal placed Six-Pack Contender in the 2001 competition was quoted as saying that he was "not happy" at a weigh-in weight of 13st 09lbs.  "It's a travesty - the scales must be broken!" protested a clearly disgruntled Horan.  A stewards enquiry has been called results will be published in these pages.

Horan "Not Happy"

• 06 September 2001